Excuse my grammar and spelling...im exhausted! And..my spell check button isnt working..
I just got back from my adventure in LA. I used to really hate that town, too much traffic, too dirty...etc. But yesterday I realized that its REAL. Orange County in a bubble. Especially South Orange County... In LA graffiti is everywhere you look, ugly mostly, but in a round about way its art. In LA not everyone is rich and famous or fake and phony. I think it was just nice to get out, take a deep breath of smog and have fun. So now I am home and physically tired as well as emotionally drained.
I did not know that Dan suffers from anxiety attacks. I found out the hard way last night.
This is what happened. We arrived at Kyles house, no one was there so we just let ourselves in, shortly after, one of his roommates came home. Well the roommate decided to offer Dan some weed (ya..he smokes every once in awile, the world is an imperfect place). Dan took about 2 hits of it and with in 5 minutes he was shaking, cold and sick. He stood up from the couch ran out to the balcony and threw up, or so I thought. So i go and check on him, ask him if he's ok, get him some water...when I got out there he was shaking uncontrolably and his heart was beating out of his chest. He immediately hugged me and was borderline crying. I got him to Kyles bedroom so he could lay down. He was saying he was cold so i put every blanket in the house i could find on him...he was still shaking so the only thing i could think of doing was to pretty much spoon him to help get him warm. Mom instincts turned on, even though im not a mom I just did what i would want if I was in his position. So i rubbed his head and told him to breathe and try to relax. It eventually worked. Such a draining experience. I was genuinely worried about him at one point i was thinking of where the nearest hospital was...turns out he didn't eat all day,smoked a pack of cigs to himself,only had alcohol in his system and on top of that he has some family issues going on...so that is what triggered the anxiety attack we decided.
This morning he was so grateful that I was there. Said anyone else wouldnt have layed there with him until he was ok. He said im a good person and an amazing friend. Then, he appologized for smoking the weed. Which was all really nice to hear. So today we all went to Long Beach for a music festival! Dan was still feeling iffy so I stuck by him the whole day just to keep an eye on him. The music was great! I've never seen so many hippies in my life!
The drive home was nice, Dan and I just talked about last night and how i felt about it and how i never want to see him like that again...but i'd be there in a heart beat. Good friends are hard to find.
Now on to Parker...
I sent him a text on the drive home asking him if he wanted to come over, its sunday, he always comes over...he said and I quote: "Maybe, I dont know how much you'll be seeing me for the next month, Anthony is home"
Ouch. Anthony is his best friend who just got home from Iraq, so understandable that they'd be hanging out. But does that really mean that I get put on the back burner for a month? There has to be a balance between friends and me. He can't honestly think that he can just put me off for a month and pick back up can he? He's fucking insane if he thinks im going to be like "oh ok babe, see you in November." and why can't we all hang out? I've never even met the guy yet! Ugh. I want to scream. I need to talk to him, ive tried to but the Angels game is on. GO REDSOX btw.Parker does what Parker wants to do, he runs on Parker time. I think im just going to take a shower and go to sleep so I dont stew over this all night.