Monday, October 13, 2008

Caution- Road Work Ahead

Parker and I have been fighting alot lately. Call me stubborn, but I dont think I've done anything wrong. There' s just this side of him I've never seen. He's mean and hurtful. He called me fat the other day, which we all know is a BIG no no in the dating scene. Then mocked me by saying, "oh im sorry thats what your mom used to call you huh?" Not funny. He doesnt think before he speaks. I told him to buffer his words and he said that he's not going to lie to me to make me happy. Ass. Saturday was a whole other ballgame, turned the table onto my friend and proceeded to call her fat as well. I can not believe how shallow he is being. If he was anyone else I would have left a long time ago...but for once im sticking it out through the bad, because call me crazy, I love him. Does he know that? No. If I told him maybe he'd be nicer and say he was sorry. There's alot more to the "fat" stories, just dont feel like typing them out.

I dont want to tell him I love him let alone take my shirt off around him right now. How could you want to be close to someone that puts you down? It's emotional abuse and its bullshit. He is coming over tonight so we can talk about our issues. So, we will just have to see where it goes. He knows he was wrong and wants us to move on, but at the same point, we need to talk about it so that it doesn't happen again and he knows its not how he should treat me. He is supposed to pick me up, not put me down. Ugh. Relationships are work...I miss my nice Parker. The Parker that didnt make me cry or feel insecure, the Parker that made me laugh so hard I peed my pants.

So i'll have to keep you posted on progress...

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