"Better late than...... pregnant"

I cant sleep, so let's catch up.

Parker and myself are doing great! Very shortly we will be living together. Scary -I know. But, life is an adventure! Im excited and anxious and curious as well. I almost dont feel "grown up" enough to be living with my boyfriend. I think I keep forgetting that I am 23 years old, a successful woman and I am fully capable of handling what gets thrown my way. I constantly forget that I CAN DO WHAT I WANT. :).

I remember telling myself that with 2008 being probably one of the worst years of my life that 2009 was MINE, and I was going to turn things around and do it my way. So far so good. I am hopefully going to be a full time student very shortly! With one of my two current jobs completely sucking, I am revising my plan. No work- all school. That way I can get it all done faster, get my credential, and get on with life in general.

Parker finally said the L word to me a few months ago. Took him long enough, but atleast I know that he means it. And now we will be moving in together. He is worried and scared, but I am excited! I think he is too, just doesnt want to show it,as always. It will be his first time out on his own so it will definately be interesting!

long time no type.

Its been awhile... basic run down. I am working 3 jobs (hairstylist, special ed aide and hostess) also, on top of that I am going to college. Think you have no life?

I just celebrated my 23rd bday! Parker took me to VEGAS!!!!! It was so much fun. It was nice to have it be just us. He let me nap whenever I wanted and do whatever I wanted. It was so nice, yet exhausting, because hellooooo its Vegas!!! After 3 days in Vegas I had to head down to SD to be with my good friend Ashley for her last night of freedom and also because I was in charge of making her beautiful for her big day. Needless to say I AM EXHAUSTED.

I hope I am just PMSing...otherwise I am losing my mind....

I was pretty emotional at the wedding. I cried like a freaking baby! So weird... I also felt a little envious. I know I am young and I have allllll the time in the world but still. I was just thinking.. Will Parker and I ever reach this point? Will Parker ever say he loves me back? Stupid girl, stupid, stupid girl. May will be a year that we've been together. I am not one to rush relationships- or maybe I am? Either way, I try my hardest to not let it get to me. He shows it, but hearing it is so much different. His friends who have been dating for about the same amount as us are basically head over heels and when we hung out with them tonight it got under my skin. Alot. They are planning on moving in together blah blah blah... I didnt want to hear it. I was talking about how I am moving back to Murrieta so I can save money, his buddy said, oh thats a good move for you guys, that way you each have money in savings so you can can grow. I said, No, Im doing this for me. And me alone. Later, I asked Parker if it bothered him and he said he understood. Lord, please just tell me if I am wasting my time. I am not ready to give up.

Oh geez its 2:30. G'night!